Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize