So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
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no. you can't hotbox the world.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
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He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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