you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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