Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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