Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
