Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We left the knife in your bed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
