successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize