Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
