nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
