if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
