sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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