We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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