Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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