just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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