I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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