just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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