i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
