Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit