Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.