I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.