3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?