Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑