i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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