I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
