i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
