Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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