Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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