I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
