dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Randomize
