I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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