When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize