I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize