we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
