So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
