Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
