Non-Jews are for practice
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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