I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Mom said you looked used
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
