Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
