you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize