Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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