i already hear my dad disowning me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Come on in and take your pants off
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