So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
