Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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