i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
