we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
