I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
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Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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