Soap is not a condiment
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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