Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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