Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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