I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
