You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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