Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
