Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
