I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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