I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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