She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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