can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
