Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize