we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
