'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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