is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
