Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
