At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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