I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Someone shit on the floor
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
